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Most Coaches aren't anything but FALSE LEADERS

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WHEN THE COLLAPSE COMES, rarely is it by an explosion, the final blow that provides both the end and the new beginning. More often, it happens by decay, the initial sign just a dime-size water stain on the ceiling. Only later, far too late, does the extent of the rot become clear.

The NCAA -- under assault from its college football programs that are bigger than it, fearful that its basketball programs will realize the same, facing its long-standing hypocrisy of generating billions at the expense of its athletes -- knows its empire is collapsing. Now the child sexual abuse scandals at Penn State and Syracuse have destroyed another previously impervious front: the myth of coach as great moral influence.

When it was time to make good on the promise of being character builders, of being leaders, two coaching legends, Joe Paterno and Jim Boeheim, could not have come up smaller. With an alleged sexual predator in his midst, Paterno appears to have done the bare minimum of his responsibility, alerting his superiors in 2002 and then presumably going back to game-plan for Purdue. According to an interview with The New York Times, Jerry Sandusky said Paterno never confronted him about allegations that he sexually abused children, even when the alleged offenses occurred in the Penn State locker room.

Two weeks after the Sandusky story broke, two former ball boys at Syracuse appeared on ESPN to accuse longtime Boeheim assistant Bernie Fine of sexually assaulting them. (A third accuser later came forward.) Boeheim showed no compassion or concern for the young people he ostensibly molds, instead revealing himself a bully. His first reaction was to accuse the alleged victims of lying and extortion, and then he seemingly framed the scandal as a potential "distraction," as if it were something to be tuned out in order to concentrate on the important business of, say, preparing to play Georgetown for the Big East championship.

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Not one of these millionaire motivators has stepped forward to offer more than token words to potential victims.

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In a universe where players show up for coffee and are gone by lunch, the coach is the only stable element the college game has, outside of the venerable universities themselves. He generously profits from his image as leader, through outsize salaries, sneaker deals and book and motivational tours. The image is a facade. Paterno and Boeheim are at the podium right now, but the other supposed leaders of young men -- Krzyzewski and Saban, Thompson and Miles, Williams and Calhoun -- have failed as well. Some offered heartfelt sympathy for the victims, but virtually all have run for cover while the rest of us confront the real message of the Penn State/Syracuse mess: Because coaches are given ultimate authority from parents ("Do what the coach says, son") and spend off-hours in private with children without supervision, sports can be as ripe a breeding ground for predators as the church or the Boy Scouts. Not one of these millionaire motivators has stepped forward to offer more than token words to potential victims. Not one proactive gesture to find out whether abuse is widespread, not one courageous act of real support, to tell children it isn't their fault, to bring them into the light, to lead.

To date, amid the great institutions of higher learning, only one voice has actually been worth listening to: that of Nebraska football coach Bo Pelini. No, he hasn't taken any meaningful actions, but while vouching for Paterno's character, he at least saw Penn State in its larger context. "To be honest, I didn't think the game should have been played," Pelini said last month, after his team beat the Nittany Lions in the wake of Paterno's firing. "The situation going on is bigger than football, bigger than the game just played."

Paterno, 85 years old and painfully disgraced, never quite grasped the message. Finally, but too late, Boeheim got it, spin-doctoring himself into decency at a recent news conference -- only after he was browbeaten into realizing this isn't about him.

Like the rest of the NCAA foundations that have proven to be fraudulent, there's no believing in the coach-as-guide ideal anymore. The lie of it has been exposed, the rot setting in, as the game's biggest, richest names run from perhaps the most damaging crisis in the history of college athletics, counting their money, staying quiet, nervously checking the headlines in the hopes that their program isn't next.

A Heartfelt Cry to the Victims in the Penn State Scandal

AP Photo/Paul VathisJerry Sandusky and Joe Paterno stand together in 1999 in State College, Pa. Now Paterno stands accused of failing to meet his moral responsibility regarding an accusation of child sexual abuse against Sandusky.

This is not about Joe Paterno.

If these boys really were molested, groped and raped by a middle-aged ex-Penn State football coach, then whatever misjudgment Paterno made will be a single lit match compared to the bonfire these boys will walk in for years to come.

Many of them won't be able to trust. Won't be able to love. Won't be able to feel -- nor trust or love themselves.

Don't feel sorry for Paterno. He's had his life. Feel sorry for these boys, because they may never get one.

Imagine: One reported victim in the Penn State case, now 24, has been living with that kind of hole growing inside him since he made allegations against Sandusky in 1998 -- 13 years ago. Those allegations never led to charges. That's 13 years of not being believed, of knowing his alleged perpetrator was out there, volunteering at high schools and running his grisly camp "tours" of the shower room.

The horror of it makes you want to punch somebody. If anyone could talk to boys Sandusky might have abused who haven't come forward yet?

"Tell someone," I beg of you.  "Because people are going to believe you. I believe in you...and YOU SHOULD KNOW ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.

No, this isn't about 84-year-old Joe Paterno not taking more steps that might have stopped it. It's about everybody not taking more steps that might have stopped it. Not parents, not teachers, not uncles, not friends, not counselors.

Imagine: Victim One, according to the Harrisburg (Pa.) Patriot-News, was often taken out of class by Sandusky to be further molested. Just taken out of school by somebody who wasn't his parent, with no questions asked until his mother finally called the principal and asked her to check into it. Later that day, the principal called back in tears. "You need to come down here right now."

According to a 1998 study on child sexual abuse by Boston University Medical School, one in six boys in America will be abused by age 16. For girls, it's one in four by the age of 14. Those "If you see something, say something" billboards shouldn't just be about terrorism. They may apply to sex abuse, too. Doesn't matter if it's your uncle, your longtime assistant coach or your buddy. You HAVE to say something. And yet, precious few people have the guts to say anything at all.

"The fear is too strong,..... I can see it as you are feeling you don't know what to do. You might think, 'Oh my god, how bad is this going to look? What are we going to do now that we've let this guy operate right under our noses? We better keep quiet.' But it can't work like that anymore."

Does this hippie blame Paterno? Let's ask some questions shall we?:

"Does Paterno have grandchildren of his own?
[Yes, 17.]
How would he feel if it were one of his grandkids in that shower with the coach?

What would he have done? Somehow, the perpetrator felt welcome at that school.
[We need systems in place that make perpetrators feel unwelcome."]

What must those boys feel like, right now, as all this darkness gets played out in front of the camera lights?

Take it from me; a woman whom at the young age of 5; was sexually abuse by her own family member.....and this is my first time speaking publicly about it to my fans.... but not my own family. 

Do I feel ashamed? No. I feel empowered. Because that bitch won't hurt me nor any member of my family anymore. 

The road these boys are on now is endless and buckled and uphill. Some will hate their parents for not protecting them and hate themselves for hating them. They will hate the pervert for tricking them and hate themselves for being tricked. And just when they think this cruel and long legal process is over, it can start all over again.

If all these charges turn out to be true, though, soon he and Sandusky will both be going to prison -- a place where, with any luck, they will feel most unwelcome.

So, my word to you dear fans of iHeart Amile; listen to your loved ones. See any signs of some distraught inside that is too scared to come out. 

It took me almost 16 years to tell my family..... don't let it be forever with yours. 

My thoughts on Velasquez vs Dos Santos Bout

Cain Velasquez will defend his UFC Heavyweight Title against Junior Dos Santos on Fox this Saturday. I think there will be fireworks, but I don't consider either guy to be the elite striker a lot of others do. 






Cain took out Brock Lesnar and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, but Brock has bad striking defense and Big Nog has taken so much abuse over the years that it's hard to think of him as elite anymore. 


Dos Santos had to go to decision with both Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, both of whom have bad cardio. I know Nelson has good cardio for a man his size, but come on.

I never seen him smile outside the ring.

I don't think there's any way that you could put Cain or Junior in the same striking category as Anderon Silva or Jon Jones. I don't mean that as an insult to either guy, I just keep hearing people talk about how great these guys are at striking. They're good for heavyweights, but they pale in comparison to good strikers in other divisions.

Having said all this, I do expect there to be a knockout stoppage of some sort, likely the ref jumping in to end the fight. I think Dos Santos is the better fighter, and that he'll get the victory. It's an interesting fight because Cain is a good wrestler and boxer while Dos Santos is a good Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter and boxer. The commonality there is boxing, and I think Dos Santos is a better boxer. Cain could take Dos Santos down, but then he might get submitted. I think this fight stays on the feet, and Dos Santos gets the win.

It won't surprise me if Cain gets the win, I think he's a very good fighter. The only way this fight would surprise me is if it goes to decision, then I would be stunned speechless. If this fight goes past two rounds, I will be very surprised.

The UFC chose this fight for a number of reasons. One, it's a title fight. Two, there are some fools out there who still dismiss the lighter divisions as being inferior to the heavyweight division, thus, a heavyweight title fight is seen as ideal in those peoples eyes. Three, this is an excellent way to introduce the UFC to new fans in as good a way as possible. This fight is essentially guaranteed to be exciting. This also ups the profile of both Cain and Junior.

All those reasons add up to the UFC making a good choice with this fight being the one to headline their first FOX show. I'll be watching, and I suspect millions more will be watching as well.

Saturday Nov. 12th on FOX