AP Photo/Paul VathisJerry Sandusky and Joe Paterno stand together in 1999 in State College, Pa. Now Paterno stands accused of failing to meet his moral responsibility regarding an accusation of child sexual abuse against Sandusky.
This is not about Joe Paterno.
If these boys really were molested, groped and raped by a middle-aged ex-Penn State football coach, then whatever misjudgment Paterno made will be a single lit match compared to the bonfire these boys will walk in for years to come.
Many of them won't be able to trust. Won't be able to love. Won't be able to feel -- nor trust or love themselves.
Don't feel sorry for Paterno. He's had his life. Feel sorry for these boys, because they may never get one.
Imagine: One reported victim in the Penn State case, now 24, has been living with that kind of hole growing inside him since he made allegations against Sandusky in 1998 -- 13 years ago. Those allegations never led to charges. That's 13 years of not being believed, of knowing his alleged perpetrator was out there, volunteering at high schools and running his grisly camp "tours" of the shower room.
The horror of it makes you want to punch somebody. If anyone could talk to boys Sandusky might have abused who haven't come forward yet?
"Tell someone," I beg of you. "Because people are going to believe you. I believe in you...and YOU SHOULD KNOW ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.
No, this isn't about 84-year-old Joe Paterno not taking more steps that might have stopped it. It's about everybody not taking more steps that might have stopped it. Not parents, not teachers, not uncles, not friends, not counselors.
Imagine: Victim One, according to the Harrisburg (Pa.) Patriot-News, was often taken out of class by Sandusky to be further molested. Just taken out of school by somebody who wasn't his parent, with no questions asked until his mother finally called the principal and asked her to check into it. Later that day, the principal called back in tears. "You need to come down here right now."
According to a 1998 study on child sexual abuse by Boston University Medical School, one in six boys in America will be abused by age 16. For girls, it's one in four by the age of 14. Those "If you see something, say something" billboards shouldn't just be about terrorism. They may apply to sex abuse, too. Doesn't matter if it's your uncle, your longtime assistant coach or your buddy. You HAVE to say something. And yet, precious few people have the guts to say anything at all.
"The fear is too strong,..... I can see it as you are feeling you don't know what to do. You might think, 'Oh my god, how bad is this going to look? What are we going to do now that we've let this guy operate right under our noses? We better keep quiet.' But it can't work like that anymore."
Does this hippie blame Paterno? Let's ask some questions shall we?:
"Does Paterno have grandchildren of his own?
[Yes, 17.]
How would he feel if it were one of his grandkids in that shower with the coach?
What would he have done? Somehow, the perpetrator felt welcome at that school.
[We need systems in place that make perpetrators feel unwelcome."]
What must those boys feel like, right now, as all this darkness gets played out in front of the camera lights?
Take it from me; a woman whom at the young age of 5; was sexually abuse by her own family member.....and this is my first time speaking publicly about it to my fans.... but not my own family.
Do I feel ashamed? No. I feel empowered. Because that bitch won't hurt me nor any member of my family anymore.
The road these boys are on now is endless and buckled and uphill. Some will hate their parents for not protecting them and hate themselves for hating them. They will hate the pervert for tricking them and hate themselves for being tricked. And just when they think this cruel and long legal process is over, it can start all over again.
If all these charges turn out to be true, though, soon he and Sandusky will both be going to prison -- a place where, with any luck, they will feel most unwelcome.
So, my word to you dear fans of iHeart Amile; listen to your loved ones. See any signs of some distraught inside that is too scared to come out.
It took me almost 16 years to tell my family..... don't let it be forever with yours.