Amile,
Im 32 years old and haven't been married nor have any children. My sibilings are either happily married or have/having a baby on the way. I get so frustrated when someone ask me when am I going to get married and other things. I dont know how to say its "NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS" in so many words. Any suggestions??
-Brianna Baltimore, MD
Well, my dear, Im 24 years old....not married nor have any children. Its a CHOICE I made for MYSELF. Maybe its the same for you, but I am pointing out you are not alone. On the season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians aired a few days ago, and now that we’ve fully recovered from seeing Kourtney pull a baby out of her own vadge, we have to bring this up: At Kourtney’s baby shower, some woman suffering from a serious case of mind-your-own-effing-business asked Kim when she and Reggie would be getting married. You know — so her life could feel complete. Just like her sisters (neither of whom will be divorced or estranged from a certain creep-o baby daddy this time next year... anyway), Kim kept her cool and replied, “I will get married when the time is right.” Kudos, girl." Her response was right on. “You want to deflect an inappropriate question as much as possible,and the best way to do that is to answer without actually answering. Be pleasant but vague.” So my other contributor Madison picked my brain for a few more genius responses to out-of-line inquiries:
Q: Do you have a boyfriend yet?
A: “I’m juggling so many hot guys and ladies right now that it’s going to be a while before I decide to tie myself down.”
Q: When are you two going to have kids?
A: “We’re way too busy enjoying the honeymoon phase to think about that yet....”
Q: Did you lose weight?
A: “Thanks, it must just be a good week for me! My biggest fear is to have double-chins.”
Q: How much is your rent?
A: “I know, this place is fabulous. I’m so lucky to have gotten a really good deal on it. How’s your apartment?”
Q: How much do you make?
A: “I don’t really worry about my salary. It’s more important that I love my job..giving boners.”
Q: Where’s that bag/top/pair of kick-ass pumps from?
A: “Oh this? I’ve had it for so long I can’t remember anymore.”
Q: You look so tired. (Okay, not really a question, just a beyond rude observation no one should ever make.)
A: “Actually, me and [insert name of your hook-up/boyfriend/husband here] were up kind of late last night. But it was sooo worth it.” Follow up with your best If-you-know-what-I-mean face.
Hopefully that helps...I, on the other hand, tend to get a little sarcastic, but that is me...the point is, just keep it simple, and be cool on answering.
Happy Endings Everyone!!
Amile W.
If you would like to submit your questions to Amile please submit them to the appropriate link located in the CONTACT page of this site. ALL submitted questions are reviewed. Only questions pertaining to contents of the blog (SPORTS, SEX /PERSONAL ADVICE) will only be selected for review. Amile Waters was an OB/GYN nurse for US Navy and is currently going to UCLA Med School to persue her Doctorate. All sexual advice is all textbook and from her experience as a nurse in such field and/or personal experience.
